A Little Bit About Letting Go...

The first set of letters I'm going to post are all about letting go. I don't really know why but I do a lot of letting go. And though I go through it often, the pain always resonates with that part of me that believes that everybody always leaves.  Yea, I'm a little broken in places but I'm always honest about it.

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."
            ~Raymond Lindquist~

"Inner peace can be reached only when we practice
forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past,
and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions."
           ~Gerald Jampolsky~

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of
something, loves something and has lost something."
        ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.~

"Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head."
        ~Ann Landers~

"True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you."
        ~Author Unknown~

Excerpt of lyrics - Everybody Always Leaves by Matthew Ryan
...She took a mouthful of rain
With a gutter full of pills
She wrote, "I handled the pain,
But it's the hope that kills"
So take care of yourself
And don't worry about me

Cause everybody always
Everybody always leaves

Sometimes I can't remember nothing
Sometimes it shadows everything
Some Sundays it's as loud as thunder
In the morning when the telephone rings
Clearer days in some distant forecast
Dark days in this present past
In the blur of some phantom widescreen
I'll let go of what I never had
Don't leave...
Don't leave...
I’ll never understand...
Don't leave......

I remember sometimes
When you never came home
How I crawled inside
Those sad and lovely bones
That you left behind
Rarely held nor seen

Everybody always
Everybody always leaves
Don't leave...
Don't leave...
I’ll never understand...
Don't leave......

This is from PostSecret.com

Dear Donor,

            I would just like to Thank You for being the man you turned out to be.  It really has been the best experience of my life letting you go and falling in love with the gift you gave me.

            You see, you were just another in a long line of bad decisions on my part and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you bailing on me. I can’t say that I blame you, considering the amount of time you were spending doing the wake and bake and the drink yourself into oblivion… such an unholy dance. How could I expect you to care about the woman you supposedly loved and your unborn child?  You were so busy trying to escape yourself that your selfishness and raging narcissism made it impossible to see me…us.

            The thing is… I forgive you for leaving me when I found out I was sick (the big C is really scary), I forgive you for bailing when the darkness covered me like a wet blanket, and I completely forgive you for going on a 2 week bender when I found out I was pregnant. But I will never be able to grasp you not wanting to know a thing about the baby…

            I have run through it in my head a million times. I have wondered how I could have been so wrong about you and the only thing I have come up with is that you are Oscar worthy and a coward… In the end, you have lost the opportunity of knowing this fantastic child which is the greatest loss I can imagine!

            And so Dear Donor, once again I thank you for being the man you turned out to be. I thank you for being a coward, emotionally unavailable and a raging narcissist. I appreciate all you haven’t done for me and my child. And if you ever get the thought in your head to come looking for us….DON’T we are better off without you.

Sincerely,

~K

           

A Little Information About This Project....

 A few years ago, I got writers block really bad. After weeks of writing the alphabet, over and over, I got really frustrated and tired of writing A B C in capital and lower case I started wondering how I was going to get myself through it... I was really desperate and it was really effecting the way I was living my life... It started to look more like I was surviving it and barely at that I was starting to scare myself! I really believed that I was never going to be able to write again. So, I dug in, started reading everything about writing I could. Then I moved onto all kinds of books about psychology (thinking I could figure out a way to fix myself) and finally, I move on to the Bible ( Desperation.... ) And there it was right in front of me... Psalms.... Little notes/prayers to God and the idea was born.  I had been writing to my (at the time) unborn child for a long time but I realized it was time to take it to another level.  And so it began... The Letters Project V 1.0 . A letter everyday to someone, anyone it doesn't matter who they are but at least one letter a day.

It was fun at first, 
Dear Mailman, I really appreciate that you actually remember my name although I never get any mail.

Dear Garbage Truck Guy, Thanks so much for blocking my car in while you gawk at me like I'm nude at 7:30 in the morning. 

Dear Guy Who Pumps My Gas, You Suck! I hate that I have to trust you with my gas card and that you don't top off my tank.
And so on and so on... But then I realized, I really wasn't challenging myself and these letters meant nothing... They had no substance and that really wasn't me...Isn't me!  So,for the past two years I've been writing letters that have depth, truth, and substance. I'll be posting some older ones and adding newer ones as I write them... I hope you enjoy!